An Autumn Rainy Day (and a bit of freewriting)

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Freewriting: also known as stream of consciousness writing. It is the practice of writing down the thoughts without stopping, and without regard for spelling, grammar, or any of the usual rules for writing *. I love freewriting, and for me it is one of the most effective de-stressing and relaxation methods. I carry an A5 book and a pen with me all the time, whenever I am bored or feel a bit stressed or even very happy about something, I write everything that comes to my mind. I doodle too, draw random pictures in the same book. It is my emotional outlet. Over the years, I have over three A5 size books. It has always been amusing for me to read what I wrote or drew at a later time. So here is a bit of freewriting I did on Saturday. Some sentenses probably don’t even make sense, well, it is not suppose to be all the time. They represent my rawest thoughts and feelings. Perhaps you have some deep emotions, try freewriting to release them?

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I wrote this on 12th November. Between two appointments, I had about 40 mins to kill. It was a rare occasion that I had nothing to do for more than 15mins. So I decided to spend sometime with myself…

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There is always something so magical about London, especially in the autumn rain. Now, sitting in Laduree, sipping my coffee with whipped cream, with assorted macaroons on the plate, I feel on top of the world.

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Life hasn’t been easy, I have been longing for a more artistic lifestyle, yet… So, I want to cherish every moment I have now.

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Sometime, I do feel trapped, trapped in the system. How much are we affected by the world around us? Brexit, work, commitment. Sometime, I just want to scream, or just run, just get away from everything.

What is my ideal life? Worried about whether I can afford a place in the future? Whether I will have a job?

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The line between reality and fantasy becomes blurry. I feel trapped in my own fantasy, or trapped in the harsh reality.

Life is often so busy, it stops me from thinking, from feeling, from being my true raw self.

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What is happiness? But whole of neurons connecting together and firing together?

It’s drizzling. London is sobbing, for joy or for sadness?

I don’t want my life to be just a day-to-day, monotonous, repetitive routines. I want more, not necessarily exciting, but it has to be beautiful.

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Sitting in Laduree, alone, in the rain… Am I over romantic? Or just plain stupid? Or is it that romanticism is an euphemism of stupidity?

I have to go, go to my pre-arranged appointment.

Until the next time, the next rainy day. And I shall have my coffee with cream again. Life is short, I might as well do anything that takes my fancy. Life can be hard, I might as well take my cream.

Hold on, am I having the first world problem again. Oh, I think it is the autumn rain. Better get going.

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*Definition taken and modified from study.com

  • Eliza

    Loved this post ? I need to do some freewriting myself i think x

    • Cotton’s Mummy

      Thank you. Do try out freewriting, it is really relaxing. x

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